June 1, 2009

Alarm bells...

So our new home comes with an alarm system. Two little motion sensors flash scary red lights when I go by, and the touch pad looks well used. It's not connected anymore, but I noticed the front door had a big dent in the side, as if someone tried to pry open the door at some point. So the previous owner was on to something. And I figure I might as well follow suit.

The stickers on all the windows read "ADT", and it seemed the logical place to start. You know, they're home even when you're not, and all that. I can sing the jingle in my sleep; I remember it from when I was a kid, I think. They're probably the only alarm-system company I can name off the top of my head.

So I called the toll-free line, after business hours.

A tired-sounding girl picked up.

And before I could get half-way through my first sentence (which I preceded with "I'm totally new at this"), she interrupted me with a half yawn to tell me she didn't take care of things like that.

I had to call during business hours.

Erm... OK.

I'm pretty sure she could have given me a little insight, or at least let me finish a sentence and offer friendly assurance that a specialist would be able to answer my questions best.

So now, in my advertising mind, "ADT = well-known alarm company" has been replaced by "ADT = inconveniently available only 9 to 5 with bored call-centre agent as back-up plan."

Will I call them again? I guess so--I don't know anyone else. But I think I'm going to start asking around, too. Cause if this is the kind of service they offer when it's NOT an emergency...


  1. I've never heard anything good about any alarm company. Ever. It's a racket. But those TV commercials sure are a classic example of motivating through fear..."There I was, just trotting away on the treadmill when ALL OF A SUDDEN A BURGLAR SMASHED IN THE PATIO DOOR!"

    The place we're renting has an alarm system, but the phone line got detached from the wind and snow when we first moved in. So, in the middle of the night, the dumb thing would do one loud BEEP! every couple of minutes--sort of like when a smoke alarm battery is low. The owners told me how to reset it, and that would work for a while, but then it would randomly start doing it again. Finally I got permission to detach the wires. Ah, blissful sleep.

  2. I left a message and they've yet to call me back. Yeesh! I was going to go about it your way, and just cover up those creepy blipping lights, but that crowbar-like dent in the door's got me worried...

  3. You just need a sign that says "Beware of Dog with Swine Flu" posted outside.Or try getting your graphic department to whip up a Notice from Health Canada for your door stating "This location is currently under quarantine for many, many things. Back away slowly."

    Maybe short term solutions..

  4. To be fair, ADT called me back twice and have been very helpful. I guess I got a bad apple of a bad day.

    Still, we're all ambassadors for our work and our company. So we should act like it.

  5. Hey, sometimes you get a Service with a fuck you, instead of a smile. Following jeaves line of thought, you can always mark your door with your preferred plague sign of choice, put radioactive waste signs or just proceed to set booby traps that would make Data proud.