Oxy-you-know-what

Big meeting. Complete with snacks. In comes lunch. Client hands out brief. Everyone's friendly. Chit-chat exchanged. And then, just as we were rocked happily, full of chicken and hope, the universe stands on its head.

Client: This time round, we want something out of the ordinary. Jazzy. Elegant, something that pops, rich-looking, special, pull out all the stops...

Agency (purring): Mmm....

Client: Just keep in mind we have half the budget this year.

Click.

That is how you end a 2-hour conference call where you're the only one not in the room, way over there in some other city, with 20 other people from 4 different agencies and media houses, sharing a PowerPoint presentation you can't see, with Mr. Booming Voice seated near the phone (and eating chips! From a bag!) and Ms. Itsy-Bitsy-Eenie-Weenie-Whisper Voice at the other end of the room, and your ear is ringing trying to listen for when you come in and your arm is about to fall asleep and you're praying the Art Director in your office won't have a spontaneous meeting and drown out what little you can hear and you can't quite reach your bag of snacks and the emails are coming in and you know when you get off the afternoon is going to be a madhouse and just when it looks like the whole thing is about to wrap up some new voice from far, far, far away starts a brand new topic by showing 30-second spots that you can't see and can barely hear...

It was productive, in the end. But jeezus, people, I had to PEE!