I get your point, Teenie, and I could easily have created this error myself. But other than, "The Shack sells more phones than there are people in Scandinavia" how would you get the point across without sacrificing brevity?
(Promise, not being a dick on purpose. Interested in your fix.)
The first thing I thought of when seeing this was "holy shite, what doofus wrote that"? So--brevity or no, it's grammatically wrong, and in looking up a visual for this I've seen the same complaint at least twice more. I get that they needed to keep it short and memorable, but they should have sat for a good while longer and tried alternative copy. After all, that's what we do!
Plus the "sells" throws me off. They sell that many phones in a year? In the last minute? Since they opened? They offer no time frame so the comparison falls flat.
I would have gone with "We sold more phones last year than there are people in Scandinavia." Else I would have sat for a few hours and penned something new.
Sometimes a one-sentence blog says more than the entire population of Croatia.
I like Jetpacks's challenge, though I'm not sure that there's any smooth way around the Constructionus Awkwardus if you (for whatever reason) feel obligated to include Scandinavia.
Teenie: Totally off topic and deletable...our family is headed to Montreal this weekend. Any recommendations on area of the city to stay, hotel (mid-price) and restaurants/bars?
If you want to respond via email, I'm Jake (at) BoomvangCreative (dot) com.
My dad used to be a newspaper editor....he would pick apart every word in every ad, whether it was one we did or not. I knew he was right, but I passed off the excuse: "It's advertising". Crappy excuse, I know.
Jake: The population of Croatia may have a lot to say, but I wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of it anyway. (I'll write you some ideas for Montreal in just a bit!)
adchick: Oh, no! Not that excuse! Yikes--I really must be the most anal copywriter out there...
I'm a copywriter who loves her job most of the time, a mother who fluctuates between bliss and the abyss, a wifey who bites her tongue a lot of the time, and a traveller who's never quite satisfied. Doesn't get better than this.
I get your point, Teenie, and I could easily have created this error myself. But other than, "The Shack sells more phones than there are people in Scandinavia" how would you get the point across without sacrificing brevity?
ReplyDelete(Promise, not being a dick on purpose. Interested in your fix.)
The first thing I thought of when seeing this was "holy shite, what doofus wrote that"? So--brevity or no, it's grammatically wrong, and in looking up a visual for this I've seen the same complaint at least twice more. I get that they needed to keep it short and memorable, but they should have sat for a good while longer and tried alternative copy. After all, that's what we do!
ReplyDeletePlus the "sells" throws me off. They sell that many phones in a year? In the last minute? Since they opened? They offer no time frame so the comparison falls flat.
I would have gone with "We sold more phones last year than there are people in Scandinavia." Else I would have sat for a few hours and penned something new.
Thanks for opening the debate, Jetpacks!
Sometimes a one-sentence blog says more than the entire population of Croatia.
ReplyDeleteI like Jetpacks's challenge, though I'm not sure that there's any smooth way around the Constructionus Awkwardus if you (for whatever reason) feel obligated to include Scandinavia.
Teenie: Totally off topic and deletable...our family is headed to Montreal this weekend. Any recommendations on area of the city to stay, hotel (mid-price) and restaurants/bars?
ReplyDeleteIf you want to respond via email, I'm Jake (at) BoomvangCreative (dot) com.
Thanks for any advice!
My dad used to be a newspaper editor....he would pick apart every word in every ad, whether it was one we did or not. I knew he was right, but I passed off the excuse: "It's advertising". Crappy excuse, I know.
ReplyDeleteahahahahahahah! Gramaticus interruptus!
ReplyDeleteBtw You're right.
Jake: The population of Croatia may have a lot to say, but I wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of it anyway. (I'll write you some ideas for Montreal in just a bit!)
ReplyDeleteadchick: Oh, no! Not that excuse! Yikes--I really must be the most anal copywriter out there...
Italo: Glad I could solicit a chuckle! :)